Eating Me Alive

I'm getting eaten alive, figuratively speaking.

Of course there is the health thing, we all know about that. I have an entire blog dedicated to it.
 
Next, family.  Love them, but they drive me batty. And I really need to get to a different town, in which I have none. Homework help. Always to blame for everything, even if I had nothing to do with it. And of course I know absolutely nothing when my older sister is around. She knows everything. Or at least that's how it feels since she always butts in or contradicts me or makes me feel like I am a complete idiot, even when I have solid proof to back it up. Oh and my brother, constantly complaining he's poor and can't do stuff and blah blah....but oh can you watch our son because we're going to Nebraska? Or he has no money but just bought a blue ray player. ARG! For heaven's sake. I don't have money period so shut up. I'm sorry. I'm just sick of it.

More though, I am getting eaten alive at work. Been in three departments now for about a year and am still considered "temporary" full time. That is not going to change anytime soon, because my bosses, although 2 out of 3 are great, can't convince the powers that be to get me "hired" so I can at least get benefits. Also, the three department thing is really starting to wear. I like the variety, but the messed up schedule every month, combined with all the doctor's appointments, leads to a constant head ache. Then, there is the new head of HR. Horrible, horrible man who gets away with doing very little work and saying things about people that would get you and I fired. But no, he is great! And it's the lack of communication. Today, I got pulled from accounting to work on time sheets. Something I typically do, but apparently some report had to be run TODAY, so I had to key in a week's worth of time sheets. And these are not easy. Each person has usually 3-10 different lines with work codes and job codes and overtime etc. It takes forever. But I can't get them done in a more timely fashion, because we don't get them in a timely fashion, as much as we in HR have tried. Well, it got done, but now the report can't be run until Monday anyway, because sheets are missing. Also, the one lady who normally does all the payroll end stuff is out on maternity leave. But do you think the company would have a back up trained? Oh no! The two other ladies in HR, which includes myself, have to try to figure it out. Or bug her at home. The new guy knows nothing. But you knew she would be out for what, 8 months, you say. Oh yes, but as much and often as we asked and practically begged the HR manager guy to let us learn how to do it, he would say no, or never answer, or say that is what the new person he's trying to hire will learn. The new person who will do what I already do, by the way, but I'm not good enough for the position. So finally everyone was like um... yeah no that's not going to work (from other departments like accounting I mean) and he finally agreed to let someone learn. That day, the lovely lady I work with went into labor. So we're screwed. Not him though..just us. And today he had to balls to check on me and say he wished someone else also knew how to key the sheets. I said you should have taught someone. His reply? "Well that was the plan, but someone went early." I could have smacked him. Like it's her fault no one knows how to do any of the stuff we were told we couldn't learn and it's her fault a baby had to come out when it did. Like you can tell that baby, no, sorry you have to stay there because I have to key time sheets.  So now she gets bugged at home. She also had to come in when a family member died. I mean that is just unacceptable in my book. But what do logical people know?

Today was also the company meeting where we get to hear how great we're doing, not that we ever see any of that reflected in our paychecks or bonuses or what not. Nope. A couple of people might get recognized and we get a paid lunch, but that's about it. Oh wait, we get a turkey for Christmas. Oh, and later that day, we get an e-mail saying one of the distribution centers will close out of the country because he can all be done here. Probably true, but seems a little sad that all these people are losing their jobs the same day we hear all about our "greatness."

I need to leave. I need to go somewhere where I can have culture and people and do things and have, potentially, a job I actually like. I would like that to be in a town down south where a friend of mine lives. I would also love it if he would let me stay with him for awhile. But I have no savings and MUST have a job first. I would hate the heat, but if I could "breathe," it might all be worth it.

I need to force myself to do something about it and I'm just so worn out, that it's really tough for me to do that. Plus, I never was the most organized person in the world, which would help in this case. Force myself or get eaten alive......shouldn't be a choice, should it.