I've been feeling crappy lately and dealing with health issues. As a result, I've been a little grumpy. But I know I get that way. As a result, I tried to not say anything and avoid people as much as possible today. So I kind of take offense when in response someone calls me a bitch.
Let me explain, yesterday, not only was I in the ER but at night I had to do a sleep study. In the meantime I was in pain and on loopy drugs and still expected to help my nephew with his homework. Which I did without complaint. Today I slept. I mean I didn't get much sleep last night.
He's 14. He should be able to get his homework done. Granted, he has a learning disability, but still. Many things, like typing, he can do on his own. He's not stupid, he's quite smart actually. And if he never tries, how is he ever supposed to learn anything? No, I'm always expected to help. Always! Because "he can't do it." Well, how do you know if you never let him try? So tonight I was once again expected to help. When I made some comment half to myself, of course it was overheard and I was promptly laid into. "I know you've been bitchy lately, so we'll just try to help him tonight, but just so you know we get tired of this shit (from you)." And later it was "you know that school loan I help pay," and a couple of other things that I have said time after time to put in my name so I could pay them. Now they now get held over my head. So I finally spoke back and tried to say I shouldn't be responsible for everything all the time, but no. I, "get paid" by having those previously mentioned bills paid for me. Not that I ever asked anyone to pay them in the first place. Not that I don't ever pay for anything else. And regardless, that is not the point. He is not my child, and I've been doing this with both him and his older brother for, ohh, the past 8 years or so. Did I mention I was getting laid into by my mother? Yep. And this was after the first week of school. The first!!
I am so sick of this. I really need to get the hell out of here. But of course that will just make me more of a bitch. Still, after I help him tomorrow with more homework, I am getting my resume out and re-doing it. I love him and he's a hard worker and very smart, although it is often hard for him to get this across in his school work. But he is not my responsibility. I'm sorry. Perhaps I'm a "selfish bitch," as I've been called in regards to this matter, but I shouldn't always be the one who has deal with the homework and the stress.
--- S
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